


I Loved Him Too

by Tonystarkisaslut



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angry Sex, M/M, Past Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:08:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28495107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tonystarkisaslut/pseuds/Tonystarkisaslut
Summary: SamBucky angst and angry sex.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 53





	I Loved Him Too

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silkystark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silkystark/gifts).



> Warnings: I could be wrong but I don’t think that there is any, other than angst.

Bucky shakes his head, turning on his heel and stomping out.

Sam looks at Steve once more, sniffing once before following Bucky. “I’m sorry, Bucky. It’ll be okay.”

“It won’t, though!” Bucky yells, punching the wall harshly. “You don’t _get_ it! He left us, he left _me_!”

Sam smiles sadly. “I do get it, though. He left me too.”

“No, you _don’t_ get it!” He yells, getting into Sam’s face. “You didn’t date him! He wasn’t your best friend since birth! He wasn’t the only person who understood you and when you’re from! He didn’t love you!” Bucky scoffs, shaking his head. “Or, he didn’t lie about loving you anyway.”

Sam looks down, sniffing a bit as he tries to fight back the tears. “I loved him too, you know,” he mumbles.

Bucky falters at this. “What?”

Sam looks up, making eye contact. “You’re right--he never did love me. He never dated me, he never even looked at me like that. He didn’t understand me, or know my deepest secrets. And that...that hurts. Because I did. I did love him, I did know him, I did act as his shoulder to cry on when he needed me, and I acted like a best friend, and I did everything right.

“But I was okay with that, because I knew I could still hang out with him, and I knew he was happy with you. You made him happy. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted, was for him to be happy.”

Bucky stares at Sam in disbelief. “You were in love with him, and you watched us--you watched me and him be obnoxiously in love?”

Sam shrugs and smiles sadly. “I’m used to it. Like I said, I just--I just want him to be happy. And look--he’s happy now. He’s lived a long and happy life, and he got to--he got to be happy.”

“He was happy with _me!_ ” Bucky yells at Sam. “He was happy with me, why would he leave me?!”

Sam opens his arms in invitation, not expecting Bucky to take it. “I don’t know. I don’t know why. It doesn’t make any sense. But we can’t change it, now. All we can do is move forward. Together.”

~

Bucky doesn’t know what he’s doing, or why. This is a terrible idea, and for more than one reason. 

But he’s here, a little tipsy and a lot tear stained, kissing Sam into the wall. Definitely harder than he needs to be kissing Sam, as well.

He’s just--he’s just so _angry_. Angry at Steve for leaving him, angry at Sam for knowing what it feels like, angry at himself for not being good enough. 

Sam pulls away from the kiss, panting into Bucky’s mouth. “Are we doing this?” He asks.

And god, it’s just so _Sam_ to stop and check in when _Bucky_ is the one who initiated it, the one who was being pushy and aggressive and angry.

“Do you want to?” Bucky asks, because now he would feel like a dick if he didn’t.

Sam nods, though, and turns around to face the wall. He pulls out his wallet from his jeans and grabs a small packet of lube and a condom.

Bucky raises a brow at the fact that Sam keeps those things in his pockets, but doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he pushes his pants down and watches as Sam does the same.

Bucky quickly rolls the condom on, not wanting to waste any time later. He spreads some lube on his fingers, and presses in two at once.

Sam hisses, pushing his hips back. “Yeah, rough. Like that. Want to feel it tomorrow, baby, make it hurt.”

Bucky isn’t sure if Sam means it or if he’s making Bucky feel better, but he doesn’t really care right now.

He works quickly to open Sam up, probably quicker than he should. He doesn’t know what Sam is thinking, but Bucky needs _this_. Needs uncaring, rough, fast sex.

Sam is so good. Sam is good, and Bucky is definitely not, and he knows this because Bucky is about to fuck Sam through the wall after only three fingers and Sam is willing to take it because Bucky needs it.

Bucky does, in fact, line his cock up, using the left over lube to jerk his cock. “Sam?” He asks, voice breaking.

Sam only nods, looking over his shoulder. “It’s okay. Go ahead.”

Bucky pushes in roughly, hips slamming so hard into Sam that other man’s own hips slam into the wall.

Sam moans and tries to push his hips back into the thrusts, but Bucky is fucking him so hard he can’t fight against it.

Bucky moans and wraps his hand around Sam’s throat, squeezing just hard enough not to bruise. He’s fucking every single hateful thought, every angry yell, every frustrated emotion inside of him into Sam.

Sam moans and makes a fist, slamming the side of it into the wall as he takes it. It feels so fucking good, so overwhelming in the best ways. He’s getting fucked within an inch of his life, and it’s scratching an itch he’s been trying to get for _years_.

Sam manages to get a hand in between his hips and the wall, and fists his cock with his free hand. “Fuck,” he whispers, not even having to move his hand; he’s just getting fucked hard enough to move his hips up into his fist.

Bucky pants heavily, but otherwise is silent. He slaps his hips up into Sam, watching Sam’s face. He grunts low when he cums into the condom, the only noise he’s made.

Sam moans as Bucky finishes in him. He waits for Bucky to pull out before jerking his cock as fast and as hard as he can. “Fuck, Bucky, you fucked me so good.”

Bucky sticks three fingers in Sam’s ass, curling them to aim for Sam’s prostate. Sam cries out, jerking himself faster as he chases his orgasm. “Thank you~” he moans.

He manages to cum really quickly after that, painting his fist and the wall with his cum.

They pant together, and Sam smiles at Bucky. Bucky doesn’t know what came over him—he knows he has no right. But he kisses Sam, holding onto his hips and pulling him to his own body.

Sam groans into the kiss, whining softly. He feels like this is a good start.


End file.
